The first time I read this book, I was too busy trying to keep up with all the characters to think too deeply about a specific one. This time, though, I was reading with purpose. I knew I would have my pick of characters but did not realize choosing one for this blog would be so difficult. My goal is to keep my blogs uplifting and entertaining, but that is difficult when a story begins with the death of a mother. Barbara, the matriarch, leaves behind letters and a journal for her four daughters to read after her death. These documents become the thread that weaves all stories together but allows the reader to understand each character individually as well.

            Barbara would have been too obvious a choice. Mark, her husband and stepfather to three of the four daughters, was interesting but I did not want to insult his experience by talking about it in an uplifting way. Then I considered Andy and Stephen, significant others to the two oldest daughters. Same dilemma. Not that I did not feel bad for the daughters who lost their mother. And that was when I realized the beauty and genius of Elizabeth Noble’s writing. Hopefully she intended it this way. My apologies if she did not but I’ll share what made sense to me.

            The first time around, I pitied the daughters who lost their mother and had to learn so much about her when they could no longer ask her any questions. It made me angry with Barbara for not sharing critical information while she was alive so some issues could get closure or just some sort of explanation. The second time, though, I found myself agreeing with Barbara for sharing everything after her death. If she had shared it all beforehand, then her daughters would not have been forced to confront the one thing they all had in common and refused to face.

Fear of commitment. Lisa had it. Jennifer had it. Amanda had it. Hannah, perhaps due to her age, was the only daughter who did not exhibit this fear in some way. But each of the other three blamed their mother to a certain extent. So, I can imagine them putting the sole responsibility on Barbara had they learned everything before her death instead of after. Their lives may not have turned out as well. After her death, however, they had no choice but to figure it out on their own. Well done, Barbara. And Noble.

And that’s the beauty and genius of Noble’s writing. She does not allow the reader room to feel pity for the main characters. Empathy, yes. But pity, no. At least not for me. Let’s take Amanda, the third daughter. Out of everyone in the group, Amanda received the worst news in her letter from Barbara. She had questions but no way of getting any answers. The only person who could point her to even a hint in the direction of an answer was gone. So, she had to decide whether to yearn for the truth and let it take over her life or look past it to enjoy the life she had with her family and Ed. Amanda turned out to be my favorite character.

Okay, I’ll admit. I did pity Amanda for about five minutes. She is the only one of the daughters who truly had reason to believe she was different and behaved in a certain way because she was different. Her doubts were confirmed by Barbara herself. They did not result from not getting along with Barbara or having issues with Barbara for marrying a younger man and having a baby at the age of 45. They came from somewhere deeper inside her.

Once those doubts were confirmed, though, Amanda did not sulk for long or give up on life altogether. Instead, she acknowledged them and decided to move on. Instead of chasing what could potentially fill the void left by the confirmed doubts, Amanda chose to run the other way. Perhaps her fear of commitment benefitted her after all. She had nothing to lose, and she did not know what she had to gain. So, she decided not to risk everything she already had, especially after she met Ed, to chase something that may not have brought her any happiness in the end. She decided to let it all remain a mystery. I don’t know how that fared for her in the long run. That is not part of the story, but it is meant for the reader to assume that Amanda’s life turned out okay. Forgiving Barbara for telling her about the darkest secret of her life from the grave made Amanda the strongest character. And my favorite.

Now, would Amanda have forgiven Barbara so easily had her sisters’ lives not improved? What if she had not met Ed or things had gone very badly with him instead of very well? What if other factors of her life had not been so positive? We will never know. But the fact is that they were positive enough to lift her up and help her forgive Barbara and move on. I think that’s the biggest lesson we can learn from Amanda, perhaps even the whole story. Have the courage to acknowledge what is negative in your life. It is only after you acknowledge the negative can you truly see it for its potential destruction and use the positive to push it out. Do it every day and all day, as many times and for as long as you must. As long as there are positive aspects in your life to overshadow and push away the negative ones, you will be strong enough to keep going.

Thank you, Elizabeth Noble, for writing a story with enough characters and life lessons for readers to take from it what each of us needs to keep going.